Monthly Archives: May 2020

My Son Died Of COVID-19

As a mom, all I can care about is my child’s safety. That is why, after the outbreak, I did my best to keep my son away from the virus. I often watched the news to get the latest updates on how the virus is progressing. I thought to myself that if I have all the information I need, I will be able to protect my child from the disease.


The Safety Measures

Since I thought I am well-aware of what is going on concerning the Coronavirus, I made it clear not to allow my child to all sorts of exposure. It is already hard for him to maintain better health due to his bipolar condition, and this pandemic made it worse. With that, I managed to teach him the essence of social distancing, and he obeyed every single reminder diligently. I made sure that my son always washes his hands every time he touched something. That is regardless if I already disinfected the item or not. I often told my son that prevention is better than cure. And since there is no cure yet to the disease, preventing the spread is our best option.


The eagerness to protect my child didn’t stop there. I made sure that he eats healthy and nutritious food since I heard that the disease targets the immune system. I also encouraged him to exercise and work on some little physical activities from time to time. I let him play in the house, and sometimes do chores together with him. I also managed to motivate to sleep 8 to 10 hours a day. I was confident that with everything I know about the virus, I could protect my son at all costs. But I was wrong.


The Painful Agony

It was on March 23rd when my son got a fever. Honestly, I was having thoughts about him getting infected, but I shrug it off. I was confident that I am following every single safety measure out there that can protect him from the virus. So I thought there’s no way it could happen. However, after a few more days, he asked me to get him tested. My son was certain that he was infected, but I didn’t buy it. I told my son that insisting on going to the hospital will make his situation worse since there are a lot of cases of infection in that particular place. But as I maintained my stubbornness, my son’s health continued to deteriorate.

It was April 6th, almost two weeks since he suffered from a fever. I went to my son’s room to check up on him because he was lying in bed for two days already. When I got to his room, I saw him gasping for air as he was about to open his bedroom window. At that particular moment, I knew I messed up. Then I ran towards my son and called 911. I immediately asked for medical assistance. After a few minutes, the help arrived.


The Moment Of Truth

They took my son in an ambulance. As I was about to hop in, but the medical provider told me not to come because I wasn’t allowed. I was in a rage because that is my son’s life on the line. But the woman insisted that I should follow the social distancing protocol. I realized I would not win an argument against her, so I stayed. I watch the vehicle from afar, taking away my precious son.

After 2 hours, I received a call from the hospital. The woman on the line told me that my son is positive with the virus and didn’t make it. It was so emotionally and mentally painful. But the worse part, I wasn’t there with him even on his last breath.

In case of loss, feel free to go to BetterHelp. Talking to a licensed therapist is the best way to deal with grief.